A Different 2022!

Changes can be scary, but only if you let them. Sometimes, changes can be a good thing because they mean things are still going uphill.

So another round of chemo starting with the usual visit with my oncologist. She continues to let me know things are looking good still. The bloodwork does concern her a bit, especially the iron level, but that was expected from me. I have known my iron levels are low, and this past week definitely proved it.

However, my Advanced Clinical Trials Specialist (Andrew) came in with my trial drug updated paperwork. Yes, I'm that good that they asked for my signature. [laughs] I'm just joking. Actually, due to my CT scans continuing to show no evidence of disease ("NED"), the Clinical Trial team has allowed me to get CT scans every 12 weeks, rather than every 6 weeks. What exactly does this mean? Well, it means the scans are showing them exactly what they were hoping for and that they are comfortable and confident that they will continue to show good signs.

Yes, it worries me a bit, that during those 12 weeks, something could happen and show up on one of the scans. However, I trust the drug, my specialist, and the nurses, and I keep holding on that the drug will continue to do what it has been doing. I never would have imagined that six years after being diagnosed, there would be a drug that has helped me so I could continue to say I'm in remission.

Let me just clear the air about remission and what it means to me. Remission usually is a good thing for cancer patients because it means there is NED and they are in the clear from any more treatments. They have their regular yearly checkups with their oncologist and/or doctor, but otherwise, they are free. HOWEVER, being in remission for me is similar but different. Because I was diagnosed and treated for Metastatic (Stage IV) Breast Cancer, there can be a bigger risk of the cancer coming back either in the same area or a new place. To make sure this does not happen, I am on chemo for life unless one of two things happen: (1) the drug stops working, or (2) a cure is finally found. Only time will tell, but I am not giving up. I power through my chemo, even if I am not fond of the side effects, and I keep going day by day.

So once again, change can be a good thing and in my case, it is.

Trial Drug Updates!

So I'm playing catch up so I can restart with updates (triweekly, weekly, daily?) and decided to just give you a brief recap of what's been going on.

In February 2018, after being on two different treatments for about 2 years, I was approached by my oncologist and an Advanced Clinical Trials Specialist about a trial drug specifically for the type I have. Nothing really changed in ways of when I would have treatments. I would still be doing treatments every three weeks. What changed was because it was a trial drug, I would have to do more blood work (labs), CT Scans, as well as eye exam, Echos, and EKGs. The main thing was the timeframes and dealing with new side effects.

In December 2019, I received a new Advanced Clinical Trials Specialist. I have to admit I enjoyed my new Specialist because I felt like I had my own personal scheduler. He would schedule all my exams and Labs and work with the Cancer Center for the treatment. I was able to reach out to him any time and kept in the loop anytime I noticed something new or felt something different.

Over the last 3 years, my CT scans have shown progress and a continous showing of NED (no evidence of disease) meaning I am remission.

"Did this mean I was cured or that I could stop chemotherapy?" Oh how I wish this would have been the case, but truthfully, the answer was No. The drug was managing to stop the cancer cells from being active and it targeted the tumor in my breast so it shrunk. Since there is no cure yet, the risk of the tumor returning in the same area or a new area was still present and the risk of cells becoming active could happen any time. So the best thing to do was to continue treatment every three weeks.

So here I am on August 18, 2021, living each day and still fighting. I had my treatment day today and doing good still. I wish I could say life is easy and hardly having any side effects, but I can not. Usually I feel nauseous and have no appetite, due to no flavor, for about five days before starting to feel more like myself.

Since I usually am at the center for 4 hours on treatment days, I plan to post more. In the meantime, live your life with joy and hope. Hope is what keeps me going and helps me to continue to have joy and make memories.

JAMMHope!

December 2015 - Accomodations/Taking It Easy

December 16, 2015 was a crazy day meeting with my oncologist as it was the beginning of a new life. I had a great team, immediately being put in contact with a Breast Health Navigator. She gave me a notebook with so many resources. It was very organized and she made sure to get me cards of people I would be communicating with.

Because of work insurance being switched, I was put in touch with someone at the Cancer Center who put together the cost of my drugs and worked hard to apply for grants to cover mosts of them. Because of her effort, I was able to feel a little better but knew finances would still be a hardship on me.

Because of my original diagnosis date being 12-15-15, my oncologist informed me that I would not be able to return to work for at least six months due to the treatment drug I was being put on. The drug dropped my immunity system making me susceptible to sickness. Talk about a hardship: an office where we have a close working space, nieces and nephews around, getting sick in general, having to take a break from choir, etc....it hit me hard I admit.

Talk about a hard conversation to have with your family. My parents were already aware of my situation, however, I had to break the news to the rest of my family. I was scared I admit, both about my diagnosis but also how to tell them my news. I think there was a lot of silence and tears (I can't remember..chemo brain), but I know there was support immediately given to me. My family prayed for me and reached out asking if I needed anything. I allowed them to share the news with close friends they thought would like to know.

My parents and brother immediately stepped up and helped me look into company benefits & policies, encouraging me to arrange a conference call between my parents, my brother, myself, an HR worker with his company and my work's benefit consultant. It gave us a chance to ask questions regarding how to finish off the current year and what to expect with the new year. I was able to ask about FMLA and how to secure my job while I was gone for the six months. I had to make adjustments big time. I was stressed I admit, shed a lot of tears, had so many questions, but I was able to pull through and get the answers I needed.

The week of Christmas was a whirlwind. I started treatment on the 22nd and was told about the side effects. I swear I think I got more sleep than a bear during hibernation time (laughs). I had to do three drugs on the 22nd and then came back the next day for my immune booster shot. I'm not sure if I did any shopping, but my family was aware of my situation by then. Christmas Eve, I have to admit was interesting to me. I kept my distance: sat in my recliner, ate in my recliner, observed everyone, tried to listen to conversations and engage in them. I do remember talking to my cousin at one point and the next thing waking up and seeing him talking to someone else. I giggled a bit because I realized I had fallen asleep right there and then.

The drug hit me hard because it made me tired and naseuous. I barely had an appetite. I had so many questions running through my mind since it didn't hit me the day we had our initial appointment with the oncologist. I admit I was upset, depressed, and bit angry, but I realized I wasn't alone. I was told my life was not done, yes I would have to limit myself, and I would be living the "New Normal" life.

Dec. 2015 - Life Changes

*One post a day for now to catch up on life changing events.

A prick from a needle can hurt, but to have a continuous poking feeling in my left breast was painful. I knew something was not right. I called a doctor and got an appointment the morning of December 15, 2015. I informed my work of my appointment, but thought I would return in the afternoon.

That day I woke up as if it was a normal day. My mom drove me to the doctor and we sat waiting. The only thought running through my head was 'maybe I bumped it...I am clumsy at times....' My name was called and I went in with the doctor. She listened to me describe the pain and did a physical breast exam. Confusion ran through my head.  'What was she doing?  I'm 33...it's just pain.'

She shared her belief of what she thought: BREAST CANCER!

She sent me immediately to a general surgeon in La Mesa who had me do ultrasound of the breast to determine if there was cancer and whether it was benign. However, there was a thick wall in the breast blocking the view, so he followed up with a biopsy and scheduled us with an oncologist for the next morning. 'Don't they know I work?  Don't they realize I need to let my boss know?'

December 16, 2015, my mom took me to Sharp Grossmont Cancer Center to meet with the oncologist. She informed me that the biopsy was being used to evaluate for the pathology report, but that she wanted to go ahead and have me start treatment as soon as possible. The 17th, I went in for a PET scan, and the 18th I had a Port inserted in area of my right upper chest.

December 22, 2015 (two days before Christmas Eve), I received my first chemotherapy treatment. My oncologist approached me while I was in a chair and informed me she had received the final pathology report and that I had Metastatic (Stage 4) Breast Cancer. [FYI this means the breast cancer had spread to another part (my bones).]

The plan was treatment every three week. This was the start of a whole new life for me.